Workplace Humor: Signs

Anesthesiologist business card:
‘When you care enough to sleep with the very best.’
 
Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office:
‘Dr.  Jones, at your cervix.’
 
In a Podiatrist’s office:
‘Time wounds all heels.’
 
On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

At a Proctologist’s door:
‘To expedite your visit please back in.’
 
On a Plumber’s truck:
‘We  repair what your husband fixed.’
 
On another Plumber’s  truck:
‘Don’t  sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.’
 
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
‘Invite us to your next blowout.’
 
At a Towing company:
‘We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.’
 
On an Electrician’s truck:
‘Let  us remove your shorts.’

In a Nonsmoking Area:
‘If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.’
 
On a Maternity Room door:
‘Push.  Push. Push.’
 
At an Optometrist’s Office:
‘If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.’
 
On a Taxidermist’s window:
‘We really know our stuff.’
 
On a Fence:
‘Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!’
 
At a Car Dealership:
‘The  best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.’
 
Outside a Muffler Shop:
‘No  appointment necessary. We hear you coming’
 
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
‘Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!’
 
At the Electric Company
‘We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However,  if you don’t, you will be.’
 
In a Restaurant window:
‘Don’t stand there and be hungry,  Come on in and get fed up.’
 
In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
‘Drive carefully. We’ll wait.’
 
At a Propane Filling Station:
‘Thank heaven for little grills.’
 
Chicago Radiator Shop:
‘Best place in town to take a leak