Heart Book Series

Helena invited Sheryl to openly share her personal story, insights, and how she created the inspirational book series for women. Reading selections from the newly published Heart of a Woman in Business book, Sheryl offered "Affirmations for Women in Business."

In my work as a career coach, I consistently advise my clients to look for the gifts in every job, especially the current one where they may most feel trapped and miserable. It’s well worth the time to review and identify the very best lesson, experience, or skill picked up from each position in each company. This exercise helps replace feelings of regret or dissatisfaction with gratitude and appreciation which helps a person move on toward success and realizing their full potential.

Being a coach who believes in “walking the talk,” I too have performed this analysis on my own job history. My very first job while in high school as a “kennel girl” at a veterinarian’s office taught me about customer service, the business side of pet care, and showed me the true value of pets in human lives. Summer jobs during college as an office clerk at a copper mine gave me opportunities to learn new skills and understand the operations of a large company. Retail work during the school year provided spending money and a social network.

As my focus on pursuing a career after college increased, I became aware of a different level of gifts and lessons. Working for small, entrepreneurial companies built the desire and experience needed to follow my dream of owning a business. A career in the staffing industry allowed me to hone my operations and supervisory skills and to understand the importance of matching employee talents with the right job. A position as a project manager gave me the appreciation of seemingly minute details required to implement new processes. I can look back at each and every job ever held and clearly see why I was there and how it helped me get to where I am today – the owner of successful career coaching and organizational training company. 

However, there was one job experience that baffled me. About 12 years ago, I spent two years working in a large retail organization moving up through the ranks to Assistant Manager of a multi-million dollar store. The gift of this job continued to elude me during my review over the years of its many components. It was perhaps one of my least gratifying jobs with more negative memories than positive. I could easily identify lessons learned about those things I didn’t want to repeat–the awful hours, a restrictive environment, and poor management practices. I knew there had to be something good there and was determined to pinpoint it. Just recently, I did find that one gift.

Like most of us, the values and priorities I expected from my work life shifted and I moved from being so very work focused to having a more holistic view of all my life’s components. Other facets developed and took precedence: the love of family and friends, the importance of life-work balance, good health, spirituality, and the need for a sense of meaning and purpose in all my activities. As I reviewed that particular job again after having made this mental shift, the gift became very clear–my friend Sharon.

Sharon was my co-assistant manager at the store and we developed a fun working relationship–first based on our mutual discontent and knowing that there was a better way to work–and then from our curiosity and true appreciation of each other’s strengths.  Eventually, we each found different job directions and moved on with our careers outside of that retail experience. Our friendship then really blossomed and became a strong and supportive one. When it’s so easy to stay in touch and get together regularly, even years later, that is a sign to me of something truly meant to be. Through these last dozen years, we have helped each other through life’s ups and downs and share an unbreakable bond–one based on trust, respect, and love. 

Now I look back on that one particular job and see how its gift was the best of all–a constant reminder of what’s truly important, more so than the paycheck, the career path, or any work related lesson – the precious gift of friendship.

While I stood there in disbelief, thinking of my options, the sound floated into the hallway—the primal scream of a mortally wounded dinosaur. Should I meet him on his terms? Should I retaliate? I turned without a word, went into my office, and closed the door. It is better to act than to react.

Major Miller did not agree with a course of action I had laid out for him. We discussed it, but I did not adopt his way of thinking.  He could not contain his anger. In my nine years on the Army Staff in the Pentagon, this was the only incident when someone so strongly and openly disagreed with me.

Coming to work in the Pentagon was distasteful for many officers. There is a popular cliché portrayed on postcards and other memorabilia, “Happiness is the Pentagon in the rear view mirror.” Officers coming into our division usually had been in command of troops. They were accustomed to being the leader in their units. In the Pentagon, they had a desk job in a cubicle, without a secretary or staff of any kind. Yet, a tour of duty in the Pentagon was necessary for moving up in the ranks. There, officers learned things they would never be exposed to in the units, like the culmination of the budget process, force planning data and assumptions, and preparing general officers for their Congressional testimony, among many things. They also had an opportunity to work closely with civilians in the Department of Defense.

Major Miller is a good man, a dedicated soldier with sound values. He had simply encountered a different kind of tension in this job, a civilian woman in authority, and he didn’t know how to handle it. The sound of his pounding floated into the office of the Director, a Major General (two stars insignia). After a short while the general’s executive officer (XO), crossed the hall. He knew that my boss was on Temporary Duty, out of town. The XO opened my office door, stuck his head in and asked “Is everything okay?” I nodded, “Yes.” He closed the door and went back to his office. That sign of affirmation and trust, and others like it, kept me going when otherwise my knees may have buckled.

After some time, Major Miller regained his composure and came in to see me, apologetic and ready to get to work. I was neither vindictive nor angry. His outburst had not diminished my standing or my self-esteem. He soon transferred out of the office.

During times of emergency regular duty hours in our area went out the window. Often it was 7:00 PM or later before we left the building. On one occasion, it was 10:00 PM before I got home. There were no taxis in sight.

Walking from the Metro rail station to my condo took me down a dirt road traveled only by our shuttle bus which had stopped running by the time I arrived. Two parallel ruts, a small clearing, then underbrush and trees—we had been warned of robberies that occurred along this road. This was in the days before cell phones and I was afraid.

My heart pounded—would the gate to the condo complex be chained? How could I get around the enclosure if it were? I nervously fingered my pass card as I neared the gate. The night was dark. God is good, the pass card slipped into the groove on the second try and the gate release clicked. I pushed and the bars began to move. Within seconds I was in the lighted parking lot. My steps quickened and soon I was inside Building 4 where I lived. The upholstered furniture in the foyer was very inviting, but I resisted. Upstairs I had a drink and fell into bed. Knowing that morning was not far away. When we realize the value of what we do, we are inclined to do whatever it takes to get the job done.

It was another exciting day. A unit commander who had served in our office when he was a young major, needed help quickly—desperately. He had orders to move his troops as quickly as possible from the tree-studded hillsides in Germany to the hot desert sands of Saudi Arabia. Saddam Hussein had already invaded Kuwait—no one knew where he would strike next. The adrenaline was pumping! This commander had a serious computer problem. If it didn’t get fixed, troops in the Middle East would not get the supplies they needed. In the fog of war, his regular chain of command was not responsive. He called me.

“I need some help here,” he said and then explained his situation. I called the experts at the Logistics Center in Petersburg, VA. They gave the computer problem the necessary priority and the mission was accomplished. Sounds easy, doesn‘t it? Creative thinking, professionalism and dedication to duty saved the day.

A few years later, as I stood in the line of well wishers at a Change of Command ceremony in Pennsylvania, I spotted that officer in line ahead of me. He was then Chief of Staff of an Army Depot, a colonel with eagle insignia on his uniform. I stepped out of line and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and in what seemed like slow motion, a huge smile spread across his face as he recognized me. He abruptly stepped out of line, grabbed me around the waist, lifted me off my feet, and began whirling me around! It was surreal! “Here’s a colonel in full uniform with his boss standing nearby,” I thought, “whirling me around and around!” It was like a warrior’s homecoming, our own Times Square celebration. He was very happy! I was embarrassed but very happy, too.

Celebration is good for the soul. Too often we demure, “It was nothing,” and short circuit someone else’s thanksgiving.
Whether on the battlefields of war or the battlefields of business, personal power is important. Be real. Know who you are. Value loyalty to your country and your God. Speak your truths and respect others. You have the power.
The Army is a family. It’s their culture. As a civilian employee, I was family, too.

In our organization departing personnel received a large picture of the Pentagon surrounded by a wide white mat. The print and mat were circulated among the staff for comments, kudos, and farewells, then framed and presented to the departing person.

My father was especially pleased that one of his children was working in the Pentagon. When he was hospitalized in Corpus Christi, Texas, with congestive heart failure, I asked one of the officers if I could get the print matted for my father. He wanted to know more. I explained about my father’s condition and suggested that our Director, Major General Akin, might sign it. The officer said he’d see what he could do.

After a few days he presented me with a framed, matted print for my father.
Our Director was away, so took the picture to the next level. Lieutenant General Ross, the Deputy Chief of Staff for Logistics, a three-star general. General Ross personalized it.

MR FREDDIE FOUNTENO
Office of the Deputy Chief of Staff for Logistics
Headquarters Department of the Army, Pentagon, April 1991.
“Mr. Founteno, We share your pride in Jo and the super job she has done for the Army. She is clearly one of our best. Please accept with our compliments this symbol of our nation’s defense.”

One might suggest that the comments about me were exaggerated and I would not argue. My father was so pleased, he had a nurse post the framed print in the hallway outside his room so everyone going by could see it. He died May 9, 1991.

Great people are never too important or too busy to take time for others.

-Jo Condrill, CEO of GoalMinds, Inc., www.GoalMinds.com

What does it take for a woman to successfully lead a diverse group of seasoned personnel? The Secretary of the Army awarded Jo Condrill The Decoration for Exceptional Civilian Service. It is the highest award possible for a civilian employee.

I had finished my residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology two months prior and moved cross-country to start practicing my profession in California. I joined an established practice and a new medical assistant was hired to help care for the patients.  I hoped she would allay my patient’s fears and keep the schedule running on time by anticipating my needs and having the proper equipment ready.

During the four years of medical school and four years of postgraduate training in Ob/Gyn, nobody had taught me to be a boss. My assistants during my residency were registered nurses who had been working at that hospital for years. I swear they knew more about what I was supposed to do than I did. There was no “bossing” to be done by me!

Now in private practice, I was in completely new territory. Because I was 2500 miles away from everyone I knew, my fellow workers became my new family. I befriended this medical assistant and felt very “big sisterly” towards her.
And we seemed to work well together, until that day! On that day, the patient needed a biopsy of her uterus. The instruments for that procedure were in the supply room, not the exam room. My assistant needed to collect a variety of things to allow me to perform this procedure. She had assisted me with this procedure at least three times in the past. I assumed she knew what we needed and would bring everything into the room.

Well, you know what they say about assume! She did not bring everything. I was angry and insulted her in front of the patient by sending her out several times to get more supplies and instruments. We did, at last, accomplish the task and the patient was able to go home.

When I came out of the exam room, the office manager informed me that the medical assistant was so hurt by my treatment of her that she walked out the door and said she would NOT be coming back.

I was stunned! I had not anticipated the effect of my actions.