Heart Book Series

*  My human will never let me eat her pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.

*  I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished watching a horror movie

*  I will not slurp fish food from the surface of the aquarium.

*  I must not help myself to Q-tips, and I must certainly not proceed to stuff them down the sink’s drain.

*   I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and puke them up so the humans can see that I’m getting plenty of roughage.

*  I will not lean way over to drink out of the tub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter.  (It took FOREVER to get the stuff out of my fur.)

*  I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at NOTHING after my human has finished watching The X-Files.

*  I will not fish out my human’s partial plate from the glass so that the dog can "wear" it and pretend to be my human.  (It is somewhat unnerving to wake up, roll over in bed, and see the dog grinning at you with your own teeth.)

*  I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late-night snacks.

*  I will not drag dirty socks up from the basement in the middle of the night, deposit them on the bed and yell at the top of my lungs (Burmese LOUD yowling) so that my human can admire my "kill."

*  I will not perch on my human’s chest in the middle of the night and stare into her eyes until she wakes up.

*  We will not play Herd of Thundering Wildebeests Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti over any humans’ bed while they’re trying to sleep.

*  Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

*  I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.  If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in my attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

*  I will not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

*  I will not back up off the front porch and fall into the bushes just as my human is explaining to his girlfriend how graceful I am.

*  I will not complain that my bottom is wet and that I am thirsty after sitting in my water bowl.

*  I will not intrude on my human’s candlelit bubble bath and singe my bottom.

*  I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it.  If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

*  If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

*  It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it dissolves in boiling coffee.

*  When I am chasing my tail and catch my back leg instead, I will not bite down on my foot.  This hurts, and my scream scares my human.

*  When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house.  It is not necessary to check every door.

*  Birds do not come from the bird feeder.  I will not knock it down and try to open it up to get the birds out.

*  I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.

*  I will not teach the parrot to meow in a loud and raucous manner.

*  The dog can see me coming when I stalk her.  She can see me and will move out of the way when I pounce, letting me smash into floors and walls.  That does not mean I should take it as a personal insult when my humans sit there and laugh.

*  Yes, there are still two very large dogs in the backyard. There have been for several years.  I don’t have to act as if I’ve just discovered the Demon Horror of the Universe each time one of them appears in my  window.

*  I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

*  When the humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

*  I will not swat my human’s head repeatedly when she’s on the family room floor trying to do sit ups.

*  When my human is typing at the computer, her forearms are *not* a hammock.

*  Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

*  I am a walking static generator.  My human doesn’t need my help installing a new board in her computer.

*  I will not bring the city police to the front door by stepping on the speaker phone button and then the automatic 911 dial button.

*  I will not speed dial the overseas numbers.

*  I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important emiognaioerp ga3qi4 taija3t v aa35 a.

*  Any critter that lives in the house (hamsters), stay in the house and any wild critters (frogs and earthworms) stay outside. I am not allowed to set the hamster free in exchange for finding a frog to put in the fish tank.

*  I will not stalk the deer in the apple orchard next door. They have sharp hooves and could hurt me if they weren’t laughing so hard.

*  I will not watch the guinea pig constantly as the guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while.

*  The goldfish likes living in water and should be allowed to remain in its bowl.

*  I will not put a live mole in my food bowl and expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

*  I will not eat spider plants and hallucinate behind the toilet.

*  I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding up) off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so that they adhere to the underside.

*  I will learn to relax at the vet’s office so they will start writing things in my records like "Good Kitty" and "Sweet Kitty" instead of the stuff that’s there now like "MEAN!!" "BITER!!!" and "GET HELP!!!!!"

*  I will not be miffed at my human all day and then kiss her on the nose at 2:00 a.m. to tell her that she is forgiven and can now pet me.

*  I will not scratch the children of lawyers, no matter how much they chase me or how hard they pull my tail.

*  If I MUST claw my human, I will not do it in such a fashion that the scars resemble a botched suicide attempt.

*  If I must give a present to my human’s overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a big live cockroach, even if it isn’t as tasty.

*  I will not soak my catnip toy in the water bowl to make tea.  I will not get high and sit there drinking my tea and kneading the floor afterwards.  I will not then get delusions of grandeur and make tea in the toilet bowl or the tub.  And I will not try to make tea with used socks, dirty panties or hair scrunches when my humans take the catnip toy away from me.

*  A warm pepperoni pizza is not a good place for a nap. 

*  I will not drag a golf ball up the stairs and bat it around the tile floor of the office at 3:30 in the morning.  Despite the fact it’s reportedly impossible for a cat to pick up a golf ball, not to mention carrying it upstairs, my human isn’t impressed with my resourcefulness at oh-dark-thirty. 

*  I will not swat glassware off the kitchen countertops just to watch it shatter on the tile floor.

*  I will not sit right behind my human when she’s fixing dinner and then loudly complain about it when she steps on me. 

*  My human did not buy that rare betta fish as an early morning appetizer before my breakfast. 

*  Things that sting do NOT make good toys.  This includes bees, wasps, and scorpions. 

*  No matter how frightening it may be, the vacuum cleaner isn’t actually trying to eat me. 

*  Items such as glasses and cell phones were not purchased as toys for me. 

*  "Breaking in" new furniture doesn’t mean using it for a scratching post. 

*  I will not try to help my human mop the kitchen floor by batting all the water out of my water bowl in the middle of the night. 

*  The kitchen table is not meant to be my pedestal where my loyal and devoted followers can worship my greatness.   I should not take it personally when I’m unceremoniously removed deposited back onto the floor. 

*  I will not bulldoze over my human in an attempt to dart out the door as my human is coming in.  This is an especially bad idea at night, and even more so when there are skunks in the yard. 

In ancient Chinese astrology, it’s a distinction to be born in the Year of the Rat. Unlike the garbage, plague and lab rats of Western culture, the Eastern Rat offers us rich benefits to take advantage of during 2008. Charming and disarming, this Rat is bright and ambitious, curious and imaginative, hard-working and persistent. The Rat is motivated by money and status, a natural leader,  inspirational speaker, intriguing conversationalist and loyal friend. Do any of our Presidential candidates come to mind as you read this? 

The 2008 Rat is the Earth Rat, a sign of acquisition, and has a knack with money and for saving for a rainy day (Isn’t this intresting, in light of our rampant financial illiteracy and volatile market? I’m also reminded that it is China that’s financing the US occupation of Iraq and the upcoming stimulus package…). The Earth Rat also carries with it the image of a misty mountain, representing clouded perceptions and unexpected outcomes. The lesson for Rats is to see what is real, develop self-awareness and consideration of others - even to put others first. What I glean from this brief character sketch is that 2008 is a year for each of us to raise our accountability, produce better results and make a greater contribution -
by seeing through the illusions that keep us stuck in our comfort zones and by communicating more truthfully and clearly with ourselves
by extending our leadership, speaking and conversational skills
by stretching our listening, mentoring and influencing the development of others
by mastering basic financial skills, such as budgeting, saving, balancing budgets, utilizing compound interests and teaching these skills to others and by more active appreciation and consideration of our loved ones

1.) Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2.) Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.  Buy a lock for the door if you have to.

3.) Buy a Tivo (DVR),  tape your late night shows and  get more sleep.

4.) When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, ‘My purpose is to________ today. Live with the 3 E’s  — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

5.) Watch more movies, play more games and read more books than you did last year.

6.) Always pray and make time to exercise.

7.) Spend  more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of  Six.

8.) Dream more while you are awake.
  
9.)  Eat more foods that grow on  trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants.

10.)  Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, and munch on raw almonds.

11.) Try to make at least  three people smile each day.

12.) Clear your clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.

13.) Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.

14.) Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like Algebra class …….but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

15.) Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

16.) Smile and laugh more.

17.) Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

18.) Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

19.) Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

20.) You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

21.) Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

22.) Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

23.) Go on and burn those ’special’ scented candles, use the 600 thread count sheets, the good China and wear your fancy lingerie now. Stop waiting for a special occasion.  Everyday is special.

24.) No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

25.) Frame every so-called disaster with these words:  ‘In five years, will this matter?’

26.) Forgive everyone for everything.

27.) What other people think of you is none of your business.

28.) Time heals almost everything. Give time, time!

29.) However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

30.) Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.  Stay in touch with  them.

31.) Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

32.) Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. God provides, remember?!

33.) The best is yet to come. (in Heaven) 
  
34.)  No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

35.) Do the right thing!

36.) Call your family often.

37.) Each night  before you go to bed complete the following statements: ‘I am thankful for  __________.’
Today I accomplished _________.

38.) Remember that  you are too blessed to be stressed.

39.) Enjoy the ride. Remember  that this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want a fast pass.  You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the  ride.

There are times in our lives that lend themselves to starting something new. The beginning of a new year, finishing school, leaving a job, or changing homes—these all are times that turn our minds to fresh starts. Their advantage is that they bring with them the energy of that event, creating a tide of change around them that we can ride to our next shoreline. But we can choose to start anew anytime. In any moment we can decide that a bad day or a relationship that’s gotten off on the wrong foot can be started again. It is a mental shift that allows us to clean the slate and approach anything with fresh eyes, and we can make that choice at any time.

Starting new is most powerful when we focus our attention to what we are choosing to create. Giving all of our attention to the unwanted aspects of our lives allows what we resist to persist. We need to remember to leave enough room in the process of new beginnings to be kind to ourselves, because it takes time to become accustomed to anything new, no matter how much we like it. There is no need to get down on ourselves if we don’t reach our new goals instantly. Instead, we acknowledge the forward motion and choose to reset and start again, knowing that with each choice we learn, grow, and move forward.

You may feel introspective today, with a desire for deeper insights about yourself. You may be trying to understand the origins of your desires, overcome limiting behaviors, or seek a better understanding of your motivations.

One of the best ways to feel more connected with your inner wisdom is to spend some quiet time alone in meditation. Simply find a quiet, private place where you won’t be disturbed and focus on releasing any worries or tension from your mind and body. When you feel completely relaxed, turn your attention inward and connect with your inner guidance. In this peaceful silence, you can ask specific questions, or allow insights and hunches to come naturally.

Connecting with our inner wisdom provides the insights and answers we seek in order to live more productive lives. Though we often feel that we know ourselves completely, we can still find ourselves stuck in destructive behaviors or limiting patterns. By taking time to connect more deeply with our inner selves, we tap into a consistent flow of knowledge, insight, and enlightenment that is available to us at any time.

As we connect with this spiritual wisdom, we gain a clearer understanding of our actions, and we can work on dissolving inner blockages and obstacles that may keep us feeling stuck. Our journey through life then becomes focused and productive, as we create lives that fulfill us on a spiritual level. The answers and insights you seek today can be found by tuning into the deepest and wisest part of your inner self.