“Mother” Book Contributor Jodi Seidler, The Mother of Re-Invention Featured

Heart of a Mother, Heart of a Woman, Stories| No Comments »

"Heart of a Mother" Book Contributor Jodi Seidler,
The Mother of Re-Invention Featured

The experience of divorce ran pretty deep for me because I’m from the Midwest and was raised with the notion that marriage was supposed to be forever.  In the old days, people would stay together for the kids, and these days they don’t. When I got divorced, I had so many fears, and it was such an emotional roller coaster.  I was afraid I would never find love again, that I wouldn’t make it on my own, or that I wasn’t strong enough to raise a boy by myself.

“I got divorced about 12 years ago and at the time, I felt really isolated.”

I felt like my married friends didn’t really want me around for many reasons, and I didn’t feel comfortable around couples because my lifestyle had changed. Because my son was only five at the time, I had to make sure that he felt safe and that he knew he didn’t cause the divorce and couldn’t fix it, so I reached out a therapist.  It was also very important for me to be financially secure for him because I was no longer part of a two-income household. I was really confused, and I needed support. I needed advice on how I would juggle my life, a home life, homework, work and finances as a newly single person. The first place I went was the internet, but I could hardly find anything.

“I came up with a great idea in the shower, where I get all my great ideas.”

I came up with the idea for an internet source for single parents. I got out of the shower and bought the domain name MakingLemonade.com, which has always been a phrase that kind of dictates how I live my life. When life hands you lemons, make lemonade and share it with people.

Ten or more years ago, the Internet was just developing. I noticed some resources on mothering and working moms, but not as many on single parenting. I went to those mom web sites to start collecting information. I e-mailed experts constantly to seek out resources and got really deep into research on single parenting, making notes every step of the way. That’s how I started building my website, my cyber child, Making Lemonade. Eventually, I became known as an expert, which was pretty funny for me since I started out not knowing anything and just contacting everyone trying to find information that would help me be a successful single parent.

“Creating a network of support around you is really important. It’s the best thing I did.”

I approached the principal at my son’s school and told him I wanted to start a single parent’s group because at PTA meetings, nothing was addressed to single-parent-families. Whether you create your own support group in your community, in your church or in your school, it is really important to find other single parents that you can talk to or create childcare co-ops with because it can be very isolating sometimes. People can feel very alone and lost in this world of single parenting.

“Being a single mom has taught me patience, among so many other things.”

It showed me that I am a warrior, but a gentle warrior, and that I can pretty much do anything because I did this.  If I can juggle everything I’m doing and show my son strength and compassion along the way, and make him feel like he was raised well, that’s amazing. No one else helped me or the many other single parents out there, and that’s pretty powerful.

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