Heart Book Series

In my work as a career coach, I consistently advise my clients to look for the gifts in every job, especially the current one where they may most feel trapped and miserable. It’s well worth the time to review and identify the very best lesson, experience, or skill picked up from each position in each company. This exercise helps replace feelings of regret or dissatisfaction with gratitude and appreciation which helps a person move on toward success and realizing their full potential.

Being a coach who believes in “walking the talk,” I too have performed this analysis on my own job history. My very first job while in high school as a “kennel girl” at a veterinarian’s office taught me about customer service, the business side of pet care, and showed me the true value of pets in human lives. Summer jobs during college as an office clerk at a copper mine gave me opportunities to learn new skills and understand the operations of a large company. Retail work during the school year provided spending money and a social network.

As my focus on pursuing a career after college increased, I became aware of a different level of gifts and lessons. Working for small, entrepreneurial companies built the desire and experience needed to follow my dream of owning a business. A career in the staffing industry allowed me to hone my operations and supervisory skills and to understand the importance of matching employee talents with the right job. A position as a project manager gave me the appreciation of seemingly minute details required to implement new processes. I can look back at each and every job ever held and clearly see why I was there and how it helped me get to where I am today – the owner of successful career coaching and organizational training company. 

However, there was one job experience that baffled me. About 12 years ago, I spent two years working in a large retail organization moving up through the ranks to Assistant Manager of a multi-million dollar store. The gift of this job continued to elude me during my review over the years of its many components. It was perhaps one of my least gratifying jobs with more negative memories than positive. I could easily identify lessons learned about those things I didn’t want to repeat–the awful hours, a restrictive environment, and poor management practices. I knew there had to be something good there and was determined to pinpoint it. Just recently, I did find that one gift.

Like most of us, the values and priorities I expected from my work life shifted and I moved from being so very work focused to having a more holistic view of all my life’s components. Other facets developed and took precedence: the love of family and friends, the importance of life-work balance, good health, spirituality, and the need for a sense of meaning and purpose in all my activities. As I reviewed that particular job again after having made this mental shift, the gift became very clear–my friend Sharon.

Sharon was my co-assistant manager at the store and we developed a fun working relationship–first based on our mutual discontent and knowing that there was a better way to work–and then from our curiosity and true appreciation of each other’s strengths.  Eventually, we each found different job directions and moved on with our careers outside of that retail experience. Our friendship then really blossomed and became a strong and supportive one. When it’s so easy to stay in touch and get together regularly, even years later, that is a sign to me of something truly meant to be. Through these last dozen years, we have helped each other through life’s ups and downs and share an unbreakable bond–one based on trust, respect, and love. 

Now I look back on that one particular job and see how its gift was the best of all–a constant reminder of what’s truly important, more so than the paycheck, the career path, or any work related lesson – the precious gift of friendship.

I had finished my residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology two months prior and moved cross-country to start practicing my profession in California. I joined an established practice and a new medical assistant was hired to help care for the patients.  I hoped she would allay my patient’s fears and keep the schedule running on time by anticipating my needs and having the proper equipment ready.

During the four years of medical school and four years of postgraduate training in Ob/Gyn, nobody had taught me to be a boss. My assistants during my residency were registered nurses who had been working at that hospital for years. I swear they knew more about what I was supposed to do than I did. There was no “bossing” to be done by me!

Now in private practice, I was in completely new territory. Because I was 2500 miles away from everyone I knew, my fellow workers became my new family. I befriended this medical assistant and felt very “big sisterly” towards her.
And we seemed to work well together, until that day! On that day, the patient needed a biopsy of her uterus. The instruments for that procedure were in the supply room, not the exam room. My assistant needed to collect a variety of things to allow me to perform this procedure. She had assisted me with this procedure at least three times in the past. I assumed she knew what we needed and would bring everything into the room.

Well, you know what they say about assume! She did not bring everything. I was angry and insulted her in front of the patient by sending her out several times to get more supplies and instruments. We did, at last, accomplish the task and the patient was able to go home.

When I came out of the exam room, the office manager informed me that the medical assistant was so hurt by my treatment of her that she walked out the door and said she would NOT be coming back.

I was stunned! I had not anticipated the effect of my actions.