Heart Book Series

I used to spend a lot of time trying to impress,
Little did I realize how it added to my stress.

My zealousness for business and my desire to succeed,
Led me at times to stretch the truth, exaggerate, mislead.

Name-dropping, bragging or a little white lie,
It’s harmless I’d say, I must impress, or at least try.

My home is the biggest, I make lots of money,
My spouse the most wonderful, my world is sunny.

Look at me! Look at me! Do you think I’m great?
I’m not quite sure, how do I rate?

Later I’d lament that all was not well,
What in the world was I trying to sell?

It was then that I learned as I worked with my coach,
That perhaps what I needed was an adjusted approach.

Be humble, speak the truth, understate, promise less,
This new way of thinking would be key to success.

As I shifted my focus and turned inward to grow,
I discovered the truth that I had longed to know.

I’m truly enough, just as I am, being me
No exaggeration necessary, WOW, I feel free!

Even though equality in the workplace has been around for many years now, in some of the larger firms, mid-level and executive management positions are still doled out to members of the “good-ol’-boys” club.  Women have had to overcome the stigma to even be recognized for their accomplishments, to earn the right to compete for these positions.  Once there, they possess and offer what no man can.

Newer thinking firms embrace women in management positions and acknowledge they bring compassion, nurturing, and determination to the table. Compassion underlies the understanding that both the firm’s employees and its clients are human beings first and an “entity,” second. Nurturing is that innate mothering instinct that helps ensure that everyone is encouraged to do their best, they are taught to be independent, and provide a working environment that is conducive to both the employee and the firm. Determination means that she will stop at nothing to protect what is hers, with the veracity and ferociousness of a mother tiger, but with tenderness to encourage those in her care to prosper and be productive. 

The "good-ol’-boys" will always be part of the "good-ol’-boys" club, but firms wanting to move ahead in today’s market will look at women to lead the way.

A breakthrough came while a consultant was preparing me for a radio interview on parenting, the topic of which was to be a concept I call “The Trophy Child.” In our practice session, I kept saying the problem of using our children to gain status was systemic, and she kept saying the word systemic was inaccessible and preventing me from connecting with the audience. She was right and this “a-ha” lead to the development of a mental filter. A little bell began to go off when the wrong motive was behind a lavish word. Now I work to make impact without pomp. I have found simplicity and brevity are harder.

The tendency to be verbose can come from other roots. Many industry and business experts are so familiar with their own jargon, they cannot see how thick and impenetrable it is to the listener. Professorial trivia buffs have trouble with arcane references that create separation and leave folks behind (seen any Dennis Miller lately?).

Step three is eternal. As our presentation careers progress our word choice becomes more perfect and more natural. Eventually we move from Thermometer to Thermostat. A thermometer constantly checks to see what the room feels like. A thermostat hovers at the right mark by making constant adjustments automatically.
And after all of this reflection; Redesign! Here are a few tips to get you started…

12 Stops on the Road to Eloquence

Upgrade your Source: Don’t stop at your computer thesaurus. Purchase The Synonym Finder by J.I. Rodale and Nancy LaRoche. This juicy tome is the difference between the spatula aisle at Vons and William Sonoma.

Off your Offspring: Writers fall in love with their own words. But, when it comes to editing the common thought is, you must “kill your children.” Go through your presentations and edit listening for overkill, showing off, repetition and repeating.

WWMAD: What would Maya Angelou do? If I were one of the great masters of clarity blended with poetry, how would I say it?

Practice Makes Perfect: Don’t feel strange about rehearsing what you are going to say whether it is to an audience of 1, 3 or 1000. Nerves can hijack your eloquence in a heartbeat unless they are tamed by practice. Use this discipline especially when speaking in front of anyone that is particularly intimidating to you or who presses that Daddy/ Big Brother/ Hot-Guy-Who-Rejected-You button.

Go Low: Ladies, be aware of when you are chattering away in your high register. To empathize with the male perspective on this sound, try calling to mind the last time your children were whining. Use your low tones. Then give yourself positive and affirming self-talk to add the confidence to back them up.

Follow Through: You know how to follow through in sports. Do the same in speaking. Once the perfect eloquent words are in your speech infuse them with good full breaths. Let your weight drift forward to the balls of your feet. Linnnger slightly on the right consonants and exlooore your vowels.

Cut That Out: When striving for eloquence on paper try to cut out the word “that” whenever you can. It is unnecessary 90% of the time.

Write It- Edit It: You have 100 words to make a point to a man. Any more and you venture into the territory I like to call “The Avalanche;” pouring tons and tons of info into their very action-oriented minds. Try this- write out everything you want to say and then edit it down to 100 words. When you read it back you will get the felling of the brevity and directness that makes men listen.

Go Easy on Quotes: If you crave more splash in your words, don’t borrow them too liberally to meet this need. Too many quotes in a presentation smacks of amateurishness. They came to hear you.

Drop the Cookbook: I love to bake because it is an opportunity for instinct and nuance. A good recipe partway through is abandoned, like a guidebook that at some point is tossed to the tour-bus floor so one can run off and explore. The point is…Improvise a bit; even through content you have already written.

Identify your Recipe: One more baking analogy and then I am going to have to go whip up a lemon bundt cake so I can get back to concentrating. There are different flavors of eloquence. Ask yourself, what is your eloquence recipe? A spoon of wisdom? A pinch of sweetness or sarcasm? Just a dash of subtlety?

Warm Up: Why write it if your lips can’t say it? The most beautiful words need a warm and flexible vocal instrument to be heard. You can sing scales. You can hum a note, sliding up and down. Don’t forget the tongue twisters. My favorite; “She stood on the balcony inimitably mimicking him, hicupping and amicably welcoming him in.”

Welcome to today’s words. “Punked” is a verb and Paris Hilton a role model. We need every well-spoken syllable we can find. So don’t give up the fight. Carrying the torch of moving and relevant language is, as it always has been, up to you, to me and the occasional odd guy on a box in a public square.

-Juliet Funt, Speaker, Author

Heart of a Woman in Business is an inspirational collection celebrating working women and their unique contributions to the global workplace. This “here’s how,” sisters-sharing-with-sisters book shares their authentic stories, and offers “here’s how” and “I did it, you can too!” Selections offer strategies, practical information, career-bolstering lessons, insights, affirmations, poems, prayers and quotations.

Whether you already own a business, planning to start one, or working in a job you love.

Chapters include: The Driving Force; Fulfilling Your Soul; Polishing Business Skills; Workplace Wit; Best Practices; Transitions from the Day Job to Your Own Job; The Entrepreneurial Spirit; Business Builders; Nurturing Our Mind, Body & Spirit; and Whispers of Wisdom.

Submissions include: career dreams come true; self-worth; goal setting; the history of women in business and as inventors; leadership and ambition; humor in the workplace; change, stress and time management; inner guidance and intuition; business promotion; hiring and firing; ways to rejuvenate and recharge; fitness tips at your desk; mid-life career transitions; and being a working mother.

The 240-page book features top talent and experts, including: celebrity personal trainer Jeanie Callen Barat; financial alchemist Morgana Rae; presentation skills from Juliet Funt (daughter of Candid Camera’s Alan Funt); having a leap of faith, from Sharon Wilson of Chicken Soup for the Soul: Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction; Life at the Pentagon from Jo Condrill; Hill Street Blues costume designer Karen Hudson; and sage advice from Oprah.

Quotations of inspiration include: Mary Kay Ash; Debbie Fields; Steve Forbes; Michael Gerber; Louise Hay; Kathy Ireland; Andrea Jung, Avon; Anthony Robbins; Martha Stewart; Donald Trump; Madam C.J. Walker, first black female millionaire; Marianne Williamson; plus the Founders/CEOs of Amazon, com, Apple, Craig’s List, Dell Computer, Google, McDonald’s, Microsoft, Starbucks; The Body Shop, Virgin Airlines, and Wal-Mart.

ISBN: 978-1-880878-19-4
$16.95 US, releasing October 1, 2008, 288 pages
Trade Paperback, 6×7”
Inspiration/Business/Self-Help
Sparkle Press

Other Books by Sheryl L. Roush:
Heart of a Woman, ISBN, 978-1-880878-13-2
Corazón de Mujer (Heart of a Woman in Spanish),  ISBN 978-1-880878-16-3
Heart of a Mother, ISBN, 978-1-880878-14-9
Heart of a Mother–Book & Music CD, ISBN 978-1-880878-18-7
Heart of the Holidays, ISBN 978-1-880878-15-6

Although it really does feel like you are at the mercy of other people’s emotions, you can stay in an energy that serves you best. You don’t have to get on the emotional roller coaster with them. When you allow yourself to become more of an observer in any given situation you free yourself from believing you are being personally attacked or that you need to solve their stuff. It helps you remember they are speaking from their truth and it doesn’t necessarily represent your truth. When you know who you are, how you want to feel and that you really do want the highest good for all involved, you create an energetic vibration that can move from you to them, ultimately changing the outcome of any situation allowing you to walk away feeling good that you stayed connected to your energy.

My career celebrates who I really am.

I am living my most pure essence, with ease and grace, living creatively every project, task, day.

I know in my heart “the right thing to do,” and with integrity and respect, I do it.

I honor myself for my choices.

By aligning with my calling, I am living my heart’s desire and my higher purpose.

With ease and grace, I make decisions.

Business and opportunities flow abundantly to me, because I am living my truth, living my passion, and living my calling.

I honor my body, listen to it, and nurture it.

Today and every day, I expect great things.

I open my heart, my mind, and my spirit to the Guidance of God.

I am willing to see my magnificence.

I am willing to receive all abundant gifts from the Universe.

I graciously receive praise and prosperity.

I honor my path as well as the path of others.

Job stress is much like any other form of stress, but can often be more difficult to deal with because we are very aware of being on display at our jobs. We are under pressure to look and act professionally. If you have handled stress at home in ways you would not comfortably handle stress while at work, then you may have also lost your coping mechanism. This, in itself may cause more stress.

•    Control – I once was a team leader in a group home for disabled adults. I loved my clients and the people I worked with, but I, and many of the other team leaders did not feel supported by the supervisors or our employer. We felt that we had a great deal of responsibility but little control or decision-making authority. This placed us at greater risk of stress and burnout. Individuals in this situation can often develop medical problems due to chronic stress.

•    Increased responsibilities – Unexpectedly, my employer laid off half of the team leaders at the various group homes and arranged for those remaining to each take responsibility for two residences instead of just one. I had just been given double the workload. I had no choice but to accept the new duties. Increased responsibility can also be difficult for those of us who have problems saying no to added duties. If this sounds like you, it is important to work on how to say no without feeling guilty.

•    Competence – With my increased workload and greater stress level, I began to doubt my competency to do my job. I also was insecure about my future with my employer. If they could lay off so many people, could they not also get rid of me? Job security and feelings of lack of competence are major sources of stress for many people.

•    Clarity – An important source of stress for me was the lack of clarity in my job. With the change in the organizational structure, my duties would change wildly from day to day. There seemed to be little purpose or structure in the company. Rather than formulate a plan or goal and stick with it, the organization seemed to follow whatever belief system was popular. A rudderless ship is a stressed ship.

•    Communication – Do you enjoy going to work every day? Do you know what is going on in your department or the company as a whole? If there is poor communication and you do not feel that you can express your concerns, and more importantly, feel listened to, then you will experience stress. Communication was nonexistent with my employer.

•    Support – When my father passed away, instead of a supportive environment at work, my employer behaved as if my father’s death was very inconvenient for them. I was given three days off, then I was expected to return to work and perform my job as normal. I felt unsupported and unvalued. The stress I felt was making it more and more difficult for me to feel satisfied in my job.

•    Significance – With the lack of acknowledgment from my employer, for the work I did, it became more and more difficult to take pride in my work or to find it meaningful. I hated going in to work every day. I was under such great stress that I was becoming ill. For my own peace of mind and for my health, I decided to quit my job. Later, I discovered that major sources of stress such as the ones above often lead to burnout. Employees can become unhappy and less productive in their work.

Job stress can affect your home life as well. While low levels of stress such as a jammed photocopier may not be noticeable, and slightly higher levels of stress can be positive, challenging you to act in a creative and resourceful way, high levels of stress are harmful and can lead to chronic disease.

•    Talk to your supervisor. If you have a performance evaluation on a regular basis, use the time to clear up issues. However, if the issue is pressing, don’t wait. Arrange to talk to your supervisor as soon as possible. Don’t leave it up to others to begin a dialogue.

•    Manage your time well. Sometimes, issues between you and your boss, may actually be your fault. Be solutions focused. Leave your job at the office so you have some time to relax on your time off.

•    Unplug. You don’t have to be available to your office 24/7. That is a recipe for stress. Turn off your cell phone, blackberry and laptop. Voicemail and email are available so you won’t miss anything. Make the technology serve you. Don’t become a slave to it.

•    Know when to quit. If you are completely miserable at your job, and the above suggestions haven’t helped, maybe it’s time to change jobs. Research other similar jobs, or even a job you have never tried before. It is surprising how many skills are transferable between seemingly unrelated careers. Who knows, you may find that leaving that lousy job was the best decision you have ever made.

Stress is a fact of life for most people. While you may not be able to get rid of stress, you can look for ways to lower it.  Practice a work/life balance to maintain a healthier lifestyle and to reduce stress.

Listen to an excerpt of Stress, It’s All In The Mind  By Cliff Simon and Patricia Stewart at www.AurorisEntertainment.com

If I live to be a hundred, I’ll still remember Friday, January 28, 1983. It was a bright sunny day, and I blissfully sang “I’m on the top of the world!” off-key as I dressed for work.  The day before, the company physician had confirmed what I’d suspected for weeks–I was three months pregnant–and after two boys I felt it would be a girl this time.
I had other reasons for feeling like I was on the top of the world…

I’d been promoted three times in the past three years. Regional Training Manager David Keith was now my colleague instead of my boss. We both reported directly to the Human Resources Director, an elderly Englishman named Anthony Kennedy. Great buddies, Dave and I usually traveled together to Singapore and other Timex assembly locations in the Far East. I enjoyed my job with the Regional Human Resources Department so much that I sometimes felt guilty getting paid. (In fact, Mr. Kennedy had been nagging me for months to complete my self-appraisal form so my annual merit increase could be processed, but I kept on putting it off. “What’s the hurry?” I told him. “I’ll get a retroactive increase anyway.”)

Although it wasn’t part of my job, I was often tapped by the Regional Marketing and Sales Group to conduct customer service seminars for Timex watch dealers. I didn’t get any extra pay, and had to stay at my desk after hours to make up for the time I spent doing these seminars, but I tremendously enjoyed helping the Timex dealers and staff understand the unique V-movement in Timex watches and why we didn’t need jewels like other mechanical or analog watches.

I also taught part-time at the National College of Business and Arts (NCBA). To cater to the thousands of young assembly workers pursuing a college degree, NCBA had opened a campus right next door to Timex. Some ingenuous folks had even constructed wooden stairs over the concrete wall that separated Timex and NCBA, shaving off a few minutes from the walk out the Timex front gate, down the block, and into the NCBA campus.

My growing family lived in relative comfort. In fact, we had recently moved into a beautiful bungalow in San Mateo (Rizal), a town outside Metro Manila. The peace and quiet, not to mention breath-taking views of the sunset and the mountains, more than made up for the hour-long commute to/from the Timex watch assembly plant in Cubao, Quezon City.

Life was great, I thought to myself that fateful Friday in January 1983 as I bounded up the steps to the Regional Office, still humming “I’m on the top of the world” under my breath.

Even as the massive frosted glass doors slammed shut behind me, I knew that something was terribly wrong. The office was eerily quiet. There was none of the usual morning chatter as the regional staff got ready for another busy day. What was even more chilling was that the staff desks were all unoccupied, and the directors’ office doors were all closed (a rare sight in the “come-right-in-and-tell-me-what’s-on-your-mind” atmosphere of the regional office).
“Where’s everyone?” I quizzed Dave, glancing at all the empty desks. “In there,” he replied, gesturing towards the closed doors. He paused and then said with an inscrutable expression on his face, “The old man wants to see you.”
My heart pounding in my throat, I tremulously stepped into Mr. Kennedy’s office. There I learned the painful truth. Timex was closing down the Manila facility and consolidating its Philippine assembly operation in Cebu. I’d be losing my job by end of March. “But I’m three months pregnant!” I blurted out. Mr. Kennedy said there was nothing he could do. “Don’t worry, you’ll easily find another job,” he assured me.

I left Mr. Kennedy’s office in a daze and headed for the cafeteria. The hallway was filled with distraught assembly workers. Unlike me, these girls had been handed their final paychecks and asked to leave immediately. Some of them were wailing unabashedly, while others sobbed quietly as they gathered their personal belongings from their lockers. It was surreal. The words “I cried because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet,” came to my mind, as I forgot my own misery and tried to console the girls as best I could.

That weekend, I started sending out job applications and writing to headhunters. Nancy, a consultant with a leading search firm, echoed Mr. Kennedy’s assurance that I’d easily land another job – until I told her that I was pregnant. She promised to check with her clients and get back to me. I knew the answer even before she called. “I’m really sorry,” she apologized, “but my clients prefer someone who can work uninterrupted during their first year.” It was the same elsewhere. I’d get as far as the interview but the minute I mentioned I was pregnant the door would close. Some well-meaning friends advised me not to disclose that I was pregnant but I didn’t want to start a new job based on deception. I decided to stop wasting time, money, and effort on a futile–and extremely frustrating–job search, and wait until after I gave birth.

When March came and I got my final pay, I realized to my chagrin that through my own fault (neglecting my self-appraisal), my separation pay had been computed on my current (lower) base salary.  To make matters worst, the kids got sick and I needed to spend for lab tests and medicine. My bank account quickly dwindled down to zero. Fortunately, a nearby grocery store allowed me to buy food and other necessities on credit–but for how long?
I sold Avon products and Readers Digest subscriptions to help pay the bills. The only mails I received were window envelopes, some with “FINAL NOTICE” stamped in red. I didn’t have any money for a cake or ice-cream for my son’s fifth birthday, and it broke my heart.

Then, on May 26 (my birthday!), I received unexpected mail. I stared at the Abenson letterhead for some time, racking my brains for anyone I knew in the country’s largest appliance chain, before opening the envelope. The salutation read “To the Baby Maker, from the Profit Taker” and went on to say that Abenson was offering me the position of Human Resources Development Manager. It was a total surprise since I didn’t know anyone in Abenson but I soon learned that the Timex Marketing Director was also Abenson’s consultant, and the Timex watch dealership was owned by the same family.

So, while I waited to give birth to an adorable baby girl, I had a job waiting for me. I realized that I needed to LOSE my job to GAIN this managerial position. God does work in mysterious ways.

Being an eight-time entrepreneur, I can attest to the best business school courses worthy of consideration, with the lowest tuition yet the highest return. Some of the most valuable ethics were those role modeled by my mother. To support the family income, and to get her out of the house being a young stay-at-home mom, she was the door-to-door Avon lady. Since my two brothers were old enough to attend school, she carted me around on her weekly routes. Believe it or not, I was quite shy, so she made me meet people – which translated later into natural networking skills.

A few years later, to help put my brothers through college, mom starting selling Amway products, and our household was one of the first to use biodegradable products – a truly novel “green” concept at that time. When I was 14, she dragged me to an Amway “Revival” where I heard my first motivational speaker, Charlie “Tremendous” Jones. Today, we are colleagues in the National Speakers Association, and I’M a motivational speaker! From painfully shy to inspirationally high! (We never know where the seeds are going to be planted.)

From mom, I learned Midwestern values, work hard, show respect, do right, have integrity, help others, and what I now know as good old-fashioned customer service skills.

“Know what you want in life—and go for it.” A child of the Depression, at 18, mom moved herself from the farm in Iowa, with only $10, and her best girlfriend to “get a life” in California. She taught me about goal setting and visualization, without ever using the phrases. (I was named after that best girlfriend.)

“Be positive.” Attitude truly does make a difference in our ability to succeed—I’m convinced of that! In challenges where I have not yet developed the skills, it’s been having a positive attitude has catapulted me through the fears. As a speaker on the topic today, I believe that Faith is the “compass” of Attitude. We’ve also got to believe in ourselves.

“You can do anything you put your mind to.” A secret dream of Mom was to compete in the Olympics. At 68, she was selected to carry the Olympic Torch, on its way from San Diego to the 1984 Los Angeles Games. When I started a business at age 16 in the patio of my parents’ home, she encouraged and helped me with the silk-screening of t-shirts and bumper stickers. (My first “client” was the Shriners.)

 “Use what you’ve been given.” We each have skills, talents and unique abilities. As a youth, I was a graphic artist with a typewriter and mimeograph paper. (Remember those?) Mom constantly volunteered me to donate time designing the boating club and church newsletters. Later I earned four international design awards for newsletters (Top Ten in the world), have written five books and have presented seminars in eight countries on the topic. (It’s as if she knew…)

The best business school courses I’ve ever attended have been those in the classroom of life with Mom as my Teacher.

The park has other activities not particularly related to goddess, though are a continuing celebration of life that is the Divine Feminine within nature.  There are opportunities to scuba dive, ride horses, see cultural performances and equestrian shows.  There is a museum which displays detailed models of all the archaeological sites on the Yucatan peninsula.  There are restaurants, locker rentals, a drug store and all the modern conveniences of home – including the opportunity to get a great massage or facial.  One is reminded of the words of the Popol Vuh, a sacred book of the Maya-Quiche, “Here is the story of the beginning, when there was not one bird, not one fish, not one mountain,” Xcarat feels like a paradise, an Eden, a place far from mundane life, a pristine place of nature, from which all life may have been born.

* Please be aware that pain can come from other ailments: tumors, kidney infections, etc. It’s important to go to your physician whenever you have pain to make sure it’s nothing that needs medical attention.

Surrender is not about giving up your Essential Nature, in fact it means embracing it fully and completely. When you surrender to the "real you," self-acceptance becomes the order of the day. No more wanting to be different instead, acceptance gives away to understanding, love and kindness.
 
When we surrender, we are willing to release what we think is "right" for "what is." We are learning to accept. We can let go of the past we give the power of forgiveness room to blossom. When we are truly willing to surrender, our egos are put aside for the truth; the truth of our actions, our language and our thoughts. In acceptance, we are free to make the conscious powerful choices necessary to alter our lives without guilt, shame or doubt.  

Take a moment to look at the life story you create for yourself on an ongoing basis. If you generally feel peaceful about the past and trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way, then you are framing circumstances in a manner that serves you well.

On the other hand, if you retain a lot of guilt or resentment and often feel weighed down by life, you may want to start telling yourself a new version of past and present events. No matter who the characters are in your story or what they have done, you are the only one who can give their actions the meaning they will have for you.

You are the only one who can define what role you will play in your own life. By taking responsibility for your story, you are able to learn and grow, forgive and find compassion, and most importantly, move on into a brighter future.

From now on, you can choose a life story that supports you. Let it be proof of your own resilience and creativity. Be kind with the roles you give yourself and generous with how many chances you get to learn what you need to know. When you remember that you are the author of your own story, you are free to create a masterpiece.

We all have days when we are faced with chores, errands, or responsibilities that we don’t want to do. At times like these, it’s easy to get into a bad mood and stay in one as we tackle these tasks. However, given the fact that our bad mood will not change the fact that we have to do these things, and will most likely make things worse, we could also try to shift our attitude. Many wise people have pointed out that it is not so much what we do as it is how we do it that makes the difference in our lives.

It’s important when we’re facing something that’s really hard for us, whether it’s doing taxes, paying bills, or visiting a challenging relative, that we lovingly support ourselves through the process. The more supported we feel, the easier it is to open our minds to the idea that we could change our way of looking at the situation. In truth, most of the chores we don’t like doing are intimately intertwined with our blessings. When we remember this, we feel gratitude, which makes it hard to stay in a dark mood.

Supporting today’s women in business and her unique needs, professional speaker and internationally top-rated trainer Sheryl Roush is accepting submissions for the forthcoming publication in the Heart Book Series, entitled: Heart of a Woman in Business.

“If I knew then what I know now!”
How to get started in business… how YOU got started
How you found your ideal niche, clients and industry
How you are using your unique talents and gifts in service
How you nurture your mind, body and spirit
How your business has changed/evolved over the years, and why